In a quick recap of Parts 1-2 we said Deep POV:
➤Puts our
readers into the character’s head.
➤Eliminates
most problems with show/don’t tell.
➤Makes our
writing fresh and alive.
➤Helps our
writing vibrate with emotion.
Examples/Excerpts
Here are examples--sentences I've underscored in novels I've read that reflect one or more of the above. It's wise to keep a notebook handy when reading.
A blast of heat scalded her cheeks.
vs. She blushed.
His sandalwood cologne wove around her.
vs. His smell was so manly.
She scrambled through mazes of twisted metal forcing her feet across puddles of burning gasoline.
vs. She pushed her way to safety.
Katie swatted at Jack and broiled his friends with a mock glare.
vs. Jack and his friends made her mad.
Her charge appeared on the landing, her hair corralled in a tight burn, her cheeks pale, her gaze tethered to Callie's like a lifeline.
vs. Her charge stood on the landing, looking older than her years, her face tight with fear.
Will sluiced water over his face, then swiped it off with a wad of paper towels.
vs. Will washed his face.
The words jerked John out of his comfort zone and tunneled him back a dozen years.
vs. The words made John uncomfortable and reminded him of the past.
A deep chuckle rumbled in his throat.
vs. He laughed.
Fear: When he lifted his gaze to hers, the look in his eyes sent a tremor down her back. He wouldn't hurt her, would he?
The first kiss: The kiss sent a tantalizing ripple through Abigail, inviting in an ecstasy she'd never known existed.
A romantic look: He continued to stare at her, seemingly looking past the silk and lace into her very soul, absorbing her with the delight of a man who'd found a priceless jewel.
(A long sentence maybe, but one we true romance lovers will read to the very end, I betcha.)
And I'll stop on those DPOV romantic notes.
Thanks for stopping by. Do you have a sentence or excerpt to share that did put you, the reader, into the character's head, showed instead of telling, and vibrated with life and emotion? I'd love to hear from you and do share this on social media by clicking on the small links below.
Blessings,
Elva
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