First Round of Edits

by Elva Cobb Martin

Recently I received the first round of edits for my contracted book, Summer of Deception. Have you ever wondered what a professional editor's first round might look like? Here're the beginning pages with editing marks showing overused words and phrases I needed to change or reword.

Chapter One
Charleston, South Carolina

Barrett Hall arose in the stormy night emblazoned in the taxi headlights. Rachel York’s breath caught in her throat. She shook away lightheadedness and weariness as the taxi crunched the rest of its way up the tree-lined shell drive.

On the wide porch she propped her umbrella beside her suitcase and tried to ignore the shivers of disquiet travelling up her spine. She would find the truth. This new summer job in Charleston was the first step.

The rain pounded pounding against the slate roof then stopped as quickly as it had begun. The moon angled out from behind a cloud, and Rachel glanced around the plantation’s wide portico with its six imposing columns and rocking chairs bathed in shadows. The brass horse- head knocker adorning the entrance added to its aura.

She held her wristwatch to the moonlight and grimaced. Ten o’clock. Five hours late. She’d arrived. With no cell phone connection, she had not been able to telephone. How early did the elderly Mr. Barrett retire? Had he given up on her? Thought she’d changed her mind about his job offer? No way. Never had she dreamed such an opportunity would fall into her lap.

Rachel took a deep breath. The smell of sweet gardenias calmed her. Swinging her thick hair behind her shoulders, she lifted the knocker and let it go. The sound broke the quietness like a pistol shot.

A sharp bark from behind startled Rachel’s already antsy nerves. She whirled around. A gray German shepherd the size of a calf stood on the steps staring at her. She gasped as she reached for her umbrella and pointed it at the beast as if it were a sword.

“Gabriel, what are you barking at?” A tall man stepped into view from a path beside the house, shaking rain from his cowboy hat. The moonlight revealed his strong build and tanned good looks. He wore an eye patch and an olive green T-shirt etched with the word, Marines.

He looked up and saw Rachel. “Come Gabriel,” he commanded the dog. The animal obeyed and he snapped a leash on its collar. “Sorry if this big mutt frightened you. He’s not ferocious, but we don’t broadcast that fact. And the umbrella wouldn’t have done an iota of good if he had a mind to attack—which he hasn’t.” The man chuckled, a pleasant sound in the shadows.

Was he a farmhand or some kind of security guard patrolling the grounds? Rachel breathed easier and lowered her umbrella. She was about to speak when the porch flooded with light and the door opened. Rachel turned.

A gray-headed woman in a wilted apron stood in the partial opening. She glared at Rachel with narrowed blue eyes. They widened when they fell on the luggage.

“I’m Rachel York. Mr. Barrett’s expecting me. Sorry I’m so late.”    

“Mr. Barrett, eh? He didn't tell me he was ‘specting nobody, ’specially for overnight.” She frowned and pursed her lips. “And I'm the housekeeper. What did you say your name was?”

“Rachel York.” Not expecting her? And definitely not for overnight, but for the whole summer.

The woman opened the door wider and her eyes fell on the man in the shadows. “Oh, there you are.”

Rachel glanced back at the man and dog.

He spoke to the housekeeper. “Mrs. Busby, show our guest to the game room in about five minutes.”

“Yes, sir.”

Obviously not a farmhand. Or a guard. Rachel pulled her luggage into an elegant entrance hall lit by a grand chandelier. A delightful fragrance wafted up from roses on a side table. She propped her Pullman upright and dropped her carry-on beside it. Glancing around, she tilted her chin and smiled. What a lovely, historic place to work this summer.

And who was the striking man who had been walking in the rain?

The housekeeper disappeared, then [SB1] returned and gestured for Rachel to follow. They turned past a curving staircase and stepped down into an enclosed patio dotted with plants amid white wicker furniture. Rachel’s metal-capped heels clicked across polished brick.

What Rachel saw of the house appeared to be exactly the kind she expected an elderly southern plantation owner like Mr. Barrett to have. Dean Woods had described it perfectly as a Gone with the Wind setting. Her future employer had smiled and nodded.

The woman gave a brief knock at a door and opened it. She motioned for Rachel to enter and stepped in beside her.

Rachel inhaled the delightful woodsy scent of cedar chips and turned at the sound of a voice, the same masculine one she’d heard earlier.

---

Note from [SB1]What did Rachel do or think as she stood there in the entryway waiting? Did her pulse race (due to anxiety?) or did she give a sigh of relief she had at least made it inside?

Next week I'll share the "rewrite" I did of these pages. The editor gave me one month to complete all edits of my 209 pages. At first it took me a day to do three pages. But I soon got the hang of it and was able to do 15-20 pages a day, a better goal for having it finished on time.

What have you learned from this editing sample?  Please leave a comment or suggested changes you'd make to these pages.

Elva Martin

Sailing with Pirates

by Elva Cobb Martin

Note: I wrote this blog a couple of years ago and it is shared again as we approach the November anniversary of the capture and death of that most famous of all pirates, Blackbeard.

How do you like my current pirate hero, photo of actor Gerard Butler? Of course, in my wip he is Captain Lucas "Bloodstone" Barrett and we are having a load of fun getting him and my heroine Travea together for a happy ending!

Pirates – Part 1

In our Atlantic waters pirates had their greatest days in the 1600’s and 1700’s. Piracy was often a form of freedom for the outcasts of society, as well as attractive to some second and third sons of nobles who saw it as a way to gain the wealth they didn’t gain from birth order. 

Of course, pirates have been around a lot longer than this time period and modern pirates still operate in many parts of the world today. 

Caribbean pirate ships didn’t roam around 

hoping to chance upon a victim; they were smarter. They patrolled known shipping routes, especially Spanish treasure routes from the Incas to Spain. During much of this time, many governments (particularly England) supported piracy, encouraging it as a cheap way to get expensive goods into their country. 

England and other governments issued “letters of marque” which gave their own “privateers” as they called these type captains, permission to attack and plunder ships of their country’s enemies. 

Piracy became so prevalent at times that honest sea-faring trade almost ground to a halt. Then the governments would begin working against the pirates. They withdrew letters of marque, tracked down the pirates, and hanged them in public. 

An amazing story of this kind is emblazoned in the history of Charleston, South Carolina, my home state and my favorite city.

In May of that year, the notorious pirate Blackbeard blockaded Charles Town Harbor with his large pirate fleet, captured and plundered nine ships of much gold and silver, and took all the passengers captive including a member of the Charleston legislature, Samuel Wragg.

In a message to South Carolina Gov. Robert Johnson, Blackbeard demanded a large supply of medicine in exchange for his captives. The meds, which Blackbeard did not find on the ships he plundered, were needed to relieve a pirate’s recurring nightmare, syphilis. 

The Charles Town leaders capitulated and sent the meds. The captives were released and Blackbeard and his fleet sailed off to Ocracoke, North Carolina, in the gayest of pirate spirits. 
However, there’s another amazing footnote to this story.

When the South Carolina leaders gave in to Blackbeard’s demands, it seemed that feelings of shame, indignation, and revenge were outranked by fear. Actually, knowing Southerners like I do, since my family has lived here for many generations, and what history has now recorded of this incident; it was wisdom that outranked the lot with revenge simply being reserved.

In the next part I will share, as Paul Harvey would say, “the rest of this story.”

Do you like to read about pirates? Join the conversation and please share on Twitter and Facebook if you have a moment.

Elva Cobb Martin

Susan Craft's New Book, Laurel

By Elva Cobb Martin

This week my dear friend and fellow member of our ACFW-SC Chapter, Susan Craft, is launching her new historical romantic suspense, Laurel. Lighthouse Publishing of the Carolinas will release the book January 15.

I've read Susan's Chamomile, the first book in this series, and I was so impressed with the story and the historical accuracy relating to South Carolina as well as the exciting plot.

I know you will not be disappointed if you check out this new endeavor of Susan's.

Here is the amazon blurb about Laurel:

Desperate to rescue their kidnapped daughter, Lilyan and Nicholas Xanthakos trek two hundred miles through South Carolina mountains and backcountry wilderness, fighting outlaws, hunger, sleeplessness, and despair. When the trail grows cold, the couple battles guilt and personal shame; Lilyan for letting Laurel out of her sight, and Nicholas for failing to keep his family safe. 

They track Laurel to the port of Charleston as post-Revolutionary War passions reach fever pitch. There, Lilyan, a former patriot spy, is charged for the murder of a British officer. She is thrown into the Exchange Building dungeon and chained alongside prostitutes, thieves, and murderers. Separated from her husband, she digs deep inside to re-ignite the courage and faith that helped her survive the war. Determined to free his wife at any cost, Nicholas finds himself forced back into a life of violence he thought he'd left behind.

Following a rumor that Laurel may be aboard a freighter bound for Baltimore, Lilyan and Nicholas secure passage on a departing schooner, but two days into the voyage, a storm blows their ship aground on Diamond Shoals. As the ship founders, both are swept overboard.

Will their love for each other and their faith sustain them as they await word of their missing child? Or is Laurel lost to them forever?

Susan's book is available on Amazon here:

www.amazon.com/dp/194110391X/

Thanks for stopping by. Please leave a comment and share this on FB and Twitter. I know Susan will appreciate it so much.

Elva Cobb Martin

Victorian Tea Parties--Bring them On!

Tradition tells us that the ritual of afternoon tea began in England with Anna, the seventh duchess of Bedford. (1783-1857). At that time there was a long interval between breakfast and the evening meal. Anna said she felt a "sinking feeling" in the afternoons and ordered her servants to serve snacks of small cakes and sandwiches with, of course, hot tea.

This neat dose of carbs probably corrected Anna's low blood sugar and the caffeine from tea undoubtedly gave her a lift. Soon her court friends began to serve up tea and snacks as well in the late afternoon.

Soon the United States adopted the fashionable tea meal also, that is, until the Parliament levied new taxes and the colonists responded by boycotting English tea. This, of course, culminated with the "Boston Tea Party" of 1773. Tea consumption dropped dramatically. This lasted until 1776 when Congress advertised in the Philadelphia news that the drinking of tea could again be indulged.

A century later in the mid-1800's and in admiration for Queen Victoria's successful rule of Britain, an admiration of British ways brought renewed enthusiasm for the afternoon tea. It also provided an opportunity for ladies to have a social event.

Despite Henry Fielding's comment during this period that "Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea," and Oliver Wendall Holmes's rather unflattering, yet funny, description of a tea party as "giggle, gabble, gobble and git," women did actually at times converse on serious topics.

At tea parties in New York Elizabeth Stanton met with Lucretia Mott and her circle of Quaker women in 1848.
These reformers planned the first convention on women's rights.

Others organized themselves for charitable causes and missionary endeavors over china tea cups in many parlors.

I love hot tea, cucumber sandwiches, scones and special little cakes. A great place to enjoy a real English Tea is the Thoroughbred Club in Charleston, South Carolina. I chose that spot to celebrate a wedding annversary with hubby, who otherwise, might never have agreed to a tea party! The Club requires reservations.

 I say stop the sinking feeling and  bring back the afternoon tea as well as the great conversation and ideas!

How about you?

My first novel is set on a Charleston Tea Plantation. The HEA wedding describes a wonderful tea for the reception. Here's a recipe for scones I've collected that you might enjoy trying.

Sesame-Orange Scones
4 c. whole wheat flour
2 tsp. baking poweder
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. grated orange peel (more is even better)
2 tbsp. vegetable oil
1/4 c. honey or sugar
1 c. orange juice
1/3 c. water (approx.)

Mix the dry ingredients then add the rest of the ingredients and form into a soft dough. Knead the dough and form into two balls. Flatten the two balls to about 3/4 of an inch and cut into wedges or cut with biscuit cutter. Dribble the below topping on top of each. Place the scones on baking sheets and bake at 400 degrees for about 12 minutes. Serve warm with honey or jelly.

Topping
1 tbsp. butter or margarine melted
2 tbsp. sesame seeds

Boy, does that make me hungry and it's way past tea time!  Thanks for dropping by. Do leave a comment or your favorite tea time recipe. And please do tweet this blog and share on Facebook for tea lovers everywhere.

Elva Cobb Martin

ACFW-SC First Pages Contest Winners

Hello Friends!

Today I would like to share below a photo and media announcement about the winners in our ACFW-SC Chapter Inspirational Novel Contest, First Five Pages.  Get ready for a new fall contest coming soon and you don't have to be a member of our chapter to enter.  Here's the media announcement pasted in FYI.
                                                                               

  The South Carolina Chapter of American Christian Fiction Writers is happy to announce winners of their 2014 Inspirational Novel Boot Camp contest, "First Five Pages." Awards were presented at the final session of the boot camp at North Anderson Baptist Church, Anderson, June 28. Attendees of the chapter meeting enjoyed hearing the first three winning manuscript pages and judge's comments read aloud.  


First Place went to Elva Cobb Martin, Anderson, for The Labyrinth, an inspirational romantic mystery set at Lake Junaluska Assembly in North Carolina.

Second Place winner, Debbie Turner of Greenwood, polished her five novel pages with one finger while recovering from a broken wrist. Her entry, a Young Adult mystery, is entitled Written in Red.

Third Place winner, Bruce Brady of Simpsonville, hooked interest with his opening pages of a young man being rescued from a deadly automobile accident. His Y/A novel Thom and the Time Tunnel is sure to be a hit with young readers.

First Honorable Mention winner, Fran Strickland of Abbeville, entered a fast-paced Inspirational Romantic Suspense, The Message at Stone Tree.

Second Honorable Mention went to author Kimberly Pickens of Simpsonville for Molly's Story.

The contest, coordinated by Edie Melson of Simpsonville, mandated entries from unpublished fiction writers, but authors did not have to be members of the chapter. Entries were required to follow strict guidelines regarding content, industry format, and the length limited to the first five pages of a novel. Authors also included a 200-word blurb or pitch.

An acquisitions editor judged the contest, offered comments for improving the manuscripts and remarked that all entries had merit.



Front Row left to right: Fran Strickland, Kimberly Pickens. Second row Elva Martin, Bruce Brady, Debbie Turner

 A fall writing contest is in the plans which will be open to ACFW-SC Chapter and non chapter members. Please call Elva Martin at 864/226-7024 for further information on the contest or the monthly meetings which are open to visitors.

Information on the national organization of American Christian Fiction Writers can be found at www.acfw.com. The South Carolina Chapter blog can be visited at http://www.scwritersacfw.com .

Thanks for stopping by today!  

Elva

Romance and Rice Plantations by Elva Cobb Martin

In my research for a future romance novel, as well as for magazine articles, I recently I took the annual two-day Rice Plantation Tour sponsored by an historic Episcopal Church in Georgetown, South Carolina. The church parish was founded in 1721. It's cemetery I wandered in the day before the tours began whispered many stories.

Prince George Winyah Episcopal Church Cemetery     

  

Did you know that rice was once king in South Carolina? Some would even say more so than the King of England ever was. From colonial times until the Civil War rice growing made the Carolina Low Country one of the wealthiest areas in the United States. In fact, by the Revolutionary War rice, nicknamed “Carolina Gold” made Charleston, South Carolina, the richest colonial town in America with twice the wealth of Philadelphia and New York, according to the ETV program “When Rice Was King.”

Over two days we toured about 20 plantations and town houses. Even though it rained both days I took lots of photos—with my umbrella held in one hand and my camera in the other!

Most names of the plantations echo their history—Hopsewee, The Oaks (shown on the right), Wicklow Hall, Rice Hope, Arundel, Mansfield, Rosemont, Arcadia, Millbrooke/Annandale, Estherville, Belle Isle, Waverly.

The town houses often reflected the names of original owners—Kaminski House, Robert Stewart House, Thomas Hutchinson House, Henry Cuttino House, Samuel Kirton House.

We had a delicious tea each afternoon at the Winyah Indigo Society Hall (circa 1857). This society is one of the oldest men’s convivial organizations in our nation. It was founded in 1740. Indigo, it seems was a good second crop to rice which required its intense labor at a different season than the most intense labor for rice. Thank God for indigo—an important original ingredient in making Levi’s and blue jeans we all love.

All the plantations we toured were in excellent preservation, and most of the houses still lived in, many of the farm lands still tilled, but not with rice. The good shape of the houses can probably be credited to the second wave of Yankee invaders after the Civil War—the rich industrialists of the north who bought up the beleaguered rice plantations after their loss of slave labor. In the beginning they often turned them into hunting and gun clubs where U.S. Presidents visited. Many are now owned by history lovers who all they can to preserve the rich record of the rice plantation culture. We are thankful for that.

Estherville Plantation river side where the rice was transported. 

What made the Carolina Low Country and Georgetown so conducive to rice growing? The rice-growing kingdom actually stretched for nearly 300 miles of coastland from Cape Fear, North Carolina, to St. Mary’s river in Georgia. Sixteen rivers in this stretch had the necessary ocean tides of at least four feet. Georgetown is situated at the mouth of five of those rivers as they flow into the Atlantic, so it became the heart of this rich industry.

Who brought all the wealth into the Carolinas buying the rice? Carolina Gold Rice was the best praised by foreign nations who bought tons of it to feed their marching armies.

Doesn’t this make you think we ought to eat more rice—if it kept marching armies on their feet, it can keep us ticking along, too. Of course, they surely ate whole grain rice. Are you a regular rice consumer? Unfortunately, rice is no longer grown in South Carolina, but have you seen the Carolina Rice brand on your grocery shelf?

Each rice plantation and the many town houses have their own exciting story I hope to explore in later blogs. Would you be interested?

Be sure and leave a comment and tweet this article for your history lover friends and writers.

Elva Cobb Martin is president of the South Carolina Chapter of American Christian Fiction Writers. She is a former school teacher and a graduate of Anderson University and Erskine College. Decision, Charisma, and Home Life have published her articles. She has completed two inspirational romances. In a Pirate’s Debt is being considered by a literary agency for representation. Summer of Deception is being considered by a publisher. A mother finally promoted to grandmother, Elva lives with her husband Dwayne and a mini-dachshund writing helper (Lucy) in Anderson, South Carolina. She and her husband are retired ministers. Connect with her also on her web site www.elvamartin.com.