My Journey to a Book Contract - Five Vital Steps (Part 2)

by Elva Cobb Martin

For a long while my dream of securing a book contract seemed like an impossible goal- like reaching for a castle in the sky.

If you missed Part 1, you can find it in the archives.

Here's a quick list of the Five Steps that helped me finally land my first book contract. It is with Prism Book Group for my inspirational romantic suspense novel, Summer of Deception, to be released in 2017. 

Drum-m-m ROL-L-L! I have recently signed a second contract with Lighthouse Publishers of the Carolinas for my historical, In a Pirate's Debt! So now I am into edits on TWO books at the same time. (Yes, that's a prayer request in the subtext). Selling the second book has been quicker maybe because I started writing it before I sold the first one. ( : 

Here are the five steps I listed in Part 1:

1) NEVER give up!
2) Keep Honing Your Craft
3) Importance of Conferences and Writing Groups
4) Help Other Writers
5) Learn how to Submit to Editors and Agents

Part 2  Keep Honing Your Craft!

Learn how to Plot a Novel  - 4 Ways I’ve Studied               

A) The detailed Authors Boot Camp Manual can be found at

    http://seekerville.blogspot.com/2016/01/the-authors-boot-camp-   manual-for-2016.html. (archived under Boot Camp)   

     There are tons of links compiled for every aspect of plotting and writing a book! And it’s all free—the best articles from some of the best authors you’ll find. 

B) The Snowflake Method by Randy Ingermanson. Find his 10 detailed steps under Products at  http://www.advancefictionwriting.com

         
Randy, a former software architect, lists 10 Steps that he compares to a snowflake in building a novel. He has a software program on it and a detailed book you can purchase on Amazon.)

   Here are the first 4 steps briefly which he covers in detail on his site and in his book.

      Step 1 - Take an hour and write a one sentence summary of your novel idea.

         Ex. “A rogue physicist travels back in time to kill the Apostle Paul.”

      Step 2 - Take another hour and expand that sentence into a full paragraph describing the story setup, 3 major disasters, and the ending.

      Step 3 – Characters: Write a one-page summary for each character telling their name, their storyline, their motivation, goal, conflict, and epiphany (Details on site)

       Step 4 – Expand each sentence in your paragraph summary into a full paragraph each. The final paragraph should tell how the book ends.

End each chapter with a cliff hanger!

C)  MaryLu Tyndall’s basic method for historicals: Starts with research

           1) Do detailed main character sketches with photos and index cards of main characters

           2) Write synopsis of basic story line and chapter by chapter summary

           3) Write the first draft down fast in creative mode. No editing or checking research details. Get the main plot points down, about 40,000 words

           4) Rewrite/Expand adding the polish, research details, DPOV, five senses add more tension/conflict, and end each chapter with a cliff hanger.

           5) Edit for final draft

           6) She keeps three docs pulled up in computer when writing:

              a)Chapter by Chapter summary which she uses to write the first draft, (I have a Scene List doc for each chapter as I write the scenes)

              b) A To-Remember Doc which lists things she needs to keep track of like dates, back story, ancestry, research items

              c) Add-in Doc – lists all the extra ideas that she comes up with while doing other stuff that she wants to add in later

                       (In editing to cut my novel word count, I added a “Cuts” document to paste in all cuts which I may want to use later in blogs.

              Find MaryLu’s other Writing Tips at http://www.crossandcutlass.blogspot.com

D) Prescription for Plotting Notebook by Carolyn M. Greene (Pass it around)

   

       A fantastic 3-ring binder with 75 pages of worksheets, forms and easy instructions to help plot your novel. Order it from:

           Carolyn Greene, P.O. Box 412, Powhattan, VA 23139 

      Send check or money order for $25 plus $5 for shipping.  Check out her site at    http://carolynpd.fortunecity.ws/

       (I highly recommend this notebook, if still available.)

Three “plots” I worked up for Summer of Deception

           

The main romance plot between heroine Rachel and hero Luke.

The suspense/mystery subplot of who is smuggling drugs on the Charleston coastline and what really happened to Rachel’s brother declared dead by the DEA.

The spiritual subplot of Luke’s struggle to regain faith and the testing of Rachel’s faith

The Spectrum for Spiritual Plots for Inspirational novels from Ron Benry’s Writing Christian Fiction

    ♦ At the High End: A conversion/redemption scene of a main character, grace in action

    ♦ The Middle Ground: Jesus at work in the lives of one or more characters  

    ♦ At the very least: Show progress in a lead character’s Christian walk or reaffirmed faith.

          OR: Challenge your protagonist’ moral beliefs. Judith Rolfs in a new mystery release by Prism Books, Never Tomorrow, has a scene in which the heroine’s moral belief in chastity is challenged by a character she has begun to think of in a romantic way and the heroine gives a great “No” answer.

My take on all this is: Weave in the spiritual plot through “parable/story style” not preachy style.

Don't miss the next blog(s) when I will share other writing skills I had to gain mastery in: Goals, Motivation and Conflict; MRU's; and How to Show not Tell. 

What has helped you most in plotting or planning your book? Please reply by leaving a comment and click and share this with friends on Twitter and FB.

Blessings on your day,
Elva Cobb Martin

My Journey to a Book Contract - Five Important Steps (Part 1)

by Elva Cobb Martin

As some of you might know, I signed my first book contract recently for my inspirational romantic suspense, Summer of Deception. What you may not know, is how long it took to come to a contract. 

Here are what I consider five important steps to that elusive contract. I will be sharing them in detail in future blogs:

1) NEVER Give Up!
2) Hone Your Craft - a big, continuing step
3) Importance of Conferences and Writing Groups
4) Help Other Writers
5) Learn How to Submit to Editors and Agents 



Step 1 - NEVER GIVE UP
I researched and wrote the first draft of Summer of Deception thirty years ago after attending Yvonne Lehman's first Christian writers conference in Black Mountain. I didn't even have a computer and wrote it on a Selectric typewriter. The next year God called me and my husband into the ministry and I stashed the big box of research and first draft up in my attic for the next twenty years where the typed pages turned yellow. After we retired from full-time ministry, I pulled that box down and began rewriting. After I started submitting it to publishers and agents, it was rejected 26 times, before being contracted.

Many may reject your ms, but someone will love it, if you don’t give up. Make up your mind you are committed for however long it takes and whatever it takes to get your book written, polished, sold and marketed or indie published. Carve out praying time, writing time, reading time in your genre and honing your craft time.

And here's a scripture promise for you that I often used to overcome discouragement  Phil. 1:7  “Being confident of this very thing that He who has begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus’ Christ.”

Don't miss the next steps in future blogs!

What advice do you have to help someone who feels like giving up on their novel dream? Please leave a comment and share this blog by clicking on the Twitter and FB button below.

Blessings on your day,
Elva Cobb Martin 

Elva Cobb Martin is 2020 President of the SC Chapter of American Christian Fiction Writers. She is a former school teacher and a graduate of Anderson University and Erskine College.  She has three inspirational novels published, Summer of Deception, a contemporary romantic suspense, and two historical romances, In a Pirate’s Debt, and Marisol, Book 1 in a new Charleston Brides series for  Wild Heart Books. All three novels have spent time on Amazon’s 100 Best Sellers List for Women’s Religious Fiction.

Book 2, Georgia Ann, English Rose releases Nov. 17, 2020.

Link to all her books: http://amzn.to/2pOgVHI

Creating a Good Villain and Perfect Setting - Guest Blogger

Today I want to share a blog post by a new author friend, Katherine McDermott. I am currently reading her exciting romantic suspense, Hiding. I highly recommend it.

     In creating romantic suspense the "bad guy" is just as important, if not more important, than the hero and heroine. He must be a "real" person with legitimate motives and his own back story; otherwise, you end up writing a melodrama with stock characters like Dudley Do-right and Snidely Whiplash.
     In my suspense romance Hiding, available at www.thewildrosepress.com, I gave a lot of thought to my stalker, Alex Sinclair. When Alex was a child his father deserted his mother, and Alex has pent up anger over the abandonment. His fascination with knives is symbolic of his father's action in cutting off his family. Alex is insecure and easily becomes jealous. He hates to look foolish in front of other males.
     At first, he is a strong shoulder to lean on, an excellent financial advisor and friend to the heroine, Teresa, who has lost her father after a long struggle with cancer. Her mother died when Teresa was a child, and her father's medical bills have left her almost destitute. Fortunately, she has a college education and rare artistic talent. Alex goes out of his way to help her, even lending her money, but he finds her desire to establish independence threatening. When he strikes her in anger, she flees to Paris with the last of her savings, hoping to leave his over possessiveness behind. But eventually, he tracks her down.
     A "good villain"? Oxymoron? No. In creating a believable monster who genuinely thinks he has been wronged, an author cranks up the suspense. Breath bated, the reader forges ahead as this legitimately off-balanced person commits acts of increasing atrocity. Like the narrator in Poe's "The Tell Tale Heart," who keeps insisting that he is perfectly sane, the reader sees and fears the psychosis.

The Perfect Oubliette (Forgotten Place)

     After creating an intriguing villain, I needed the perfect setting for the climax of Hiding, available at www.thewildrosepress.com.
Having read a fascinating article in National Geographic about the labyrinth of tunnels under Paris that include a sewer and water system, French resistance outposts from WWII, and the ancient and eerie catacombs, I knew I had the perfect oubliette. The French word oubliette means "forgotten place." An on-line tour of the catacombs gave me a realistic vision of the bone yard. When Alex abducts Teresa and takes her there, she realizes with growing horror there is no better place to kill someone. What notice will be taken of one more set of bones among the many?
     Find the perfect oubliette for your novel and think about important setting can be to the story. In "The Fall of the House of Usher" the crumbling mansion represents the decaying family. The house is attacks strangers; it is almost a living being, another character. The crack that widens and causes its ultimate destruction
symbolizes the hereditary thread of insanity that runs through the Usher family which culminates with Roderick and Madeline.

                                      ***

Katherine McDermott was born and raised in Charleston, S.C. She is a retired English teacher and guidance counselor with degrees from the College of Charleston and Citadel. She has articles published in numerous publications and her Hiding ms was a finalist in the Daphne Du Maurier Kiss of Death Contest. She has published children's books and co-authored South Carolina Lighthouses.

Connect with Katherine McDermott

http://www.katherinemcdermott.blogspot.com/

http://www.thewildrosepress.com/

amazon.com/author/mcdermottkatherine

www.amazon.com/author/kimmcdermott

I hope you enjoyed this guest blog by Katherine. How have you created your villain?  Have you found a great setting or "oubliette?" Do leave a comment and share with your friends.

Elva Cobb Martin

Stop,Drop and Roll: Adding the Crisis Scene by Guest Janice Thompson

Stop, Drop and Roll: Adding the Crisis Scene  

By Janice Hanna Thompson
"Love, Laughter and Happily Ever Afters!"
http://www.janicehannathompson.com

You’re at the ¾ point in your novel and facing that all-important crisis scene. The Supreme Ordeal. The Black Moment. The Big Gloom. You know it’s critical to the story’s survival, and you want it to be the best it can be. Still, you’re unsure of how to progress. How does one go about writing a crisis scene, anyway? What does a confused writer need to know? It’s as easy as “Stop, Drop and Roll!”

STOP!

Stop the clock. Make the reader feel like time is standing still. Like they can’t possibly breathe until you start the clock again.

Stop the romance. There’s a time to kiss…and a time to save the planet. It’s time to save the planet.

Stop the sunlight. It’s time to cover your story in shadows.

Stop the reader’s heart. Leave him breathless and worried.

Stop the POV character’s chances of survival. Things have to look hopeless at this point in the story.

Stop pretending the POV character’s got it all together. Every flaw is now exposed and every hidden motive revealed.

Stop the cheerful chatter. No time to sound uplifting or cheerful. The crisis scene calls for tense, sobering word choices.

            

DROP!

Drop the plotline. You’ve been building, building, building. Now let it plummet.

Drop your reader’s hope. Make him think the story can’t possibly work out.

Drop your POV characters to a physical low.

Drop your POV characters to an emotional low.

Drop the lengthy narrative. Crisis scenes call for short, quick dialogue and very little narrative. Cut off words by using –em dashes. Leave off tags. Push aside descriptives. Cut to the chase.

ROLL!

Roll up your sleeves. Writing the crisis scene is tough work. You need to learn how to do it effectively.

Roll up (tighten) the tension coil. Tighter! Tighter! Tighter!

Roll over and play dead. Your character has to face death (death of a dream, death of a romance, death of hope, etc.) This isn’t a physical death, of course, though it might look as if your primary POV character might face a literal death.

Roll out the punches. Your character’s going to have to come out swinging.

Roll out the sword! Your character needs to be armed and ready to do battle.

Roll the stone away from the cave. Resurrection day is coming!

Roll toward the resolution. Everything has to turn out okay in the end.

The next time you face a crisis scene in your book, just think of these three little words: Stop, Drop and Roll!”

If you’re looking for additional help with your plotline, consider Janice's fiction writing course. It’s loaded with helpful information for novelists and will give you the tools you need to keep the plot going. Check out her site at
www.janicehannathompson.com

Thanks for stopping by. Do leave a comment if this article was helpful. Do you have a plan in writing your crisis scene or Black Moment?

Blessings,

Elva Cobb Martin

Crafting Great Dialog by Guest Andrea Merrell

Crafting Great Dialogue

By Andrea Merrell  from  http://www.thewriteediting.blogspot.com 

Dialogue can make or break a story—too much, too little, too stilted, or too corny.

When we read, we want to see the characters interacting with each other. Whether they're arguing, sharing secrets, or just getting to know each other, we want the communication to be real and flow in such a way that we get pulled into the story.

As writers, we all have a unique voice. When we create our characters, they will also have a voice. The problem occurs when all of our characters have our voice instead of their own. How boring for our readers if everyone in our story sounds the same.

Tips To Remember When Crafting Dialogue

• Use believable, down-to-earth dialogue that fits your character.
• Don’t be afraid to use contractions, since that’s the way most people talk.
• Be mindful of the setting, especially if it’s historical.
• Make your words fit the culture.
• Consider the age of your characters.

Using speaker beats and tags will enhance your dialogue. Let’s look at both.

Speaker Tags

A speaker tag shows the speaker’s name and a speech-related verb (said, asked, shouted). This is generally the best way to show which of your characters is speaking, but sometimes we tend to overuse them. They're not necessary each and every time someone speaks, especially in a long section of dialogue.

Example: “That’s a lovely dress you’re wearing,” Wendy said.

                   “Thank you so much,” Beverly replied.

                    “Would you tell me where you got it?” Wendy said.

                   “Sure. It came from Dillard’s,” Beverly answered.

Do you see how annoying that could get?

Note: This is a common error when using speaker tags:  “That’s a pretty scrawny dog,” Jim laughed. Since Jim cannot laugh that comment, the proper way would be: “That’s a pretty scrawny dog.” Jim laughed. Do you see the difference? In the second example, there is a period after the word dog instead of a comma. The problem with this is that the second example now becomes a speaker beat instead of a tag.

Speaker Beats

A speaker beat describes the action that accompanies what the speaker is saying (like the example above). Here is another example:

“I can’t believe you said that to me.” Jessie grabbed her keys and headed for the door.

Note: Just like the speaker tags, don’t overuse beats. Too many will interrupt the flow of dialogue. They're not necessary every time but work well to help set the scene when used correctly. You can also use them at the beginning instead of the end:

Jessie grabbed her keys and headed for the door. “I can’t believe you said that to me.”

Know your characters well and present them in such a way your readers will not forget them.

What secrets can you share about crafting dialogue? We would love to hear your suggestions.

(Photos courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net/cooldesign/Master Isolated Images.)

TWEETABLES

Dialogue can make or break a story. via @AndreaMerrell (Click to Tweet.)

Learn to use speaker beats and tags appropriately. via @AndreaMerrell (Click to Tweet.)

Thank you, Andrea, for this great article on dialog! I am sharing it and hope all our readers will do the same.

Elva Cobb Martin

Interview with Paula Mowery, Acquisitions Editor, Prism Books

Today we have a guest blog by Danele Rotharmel and her interview of Paula Mowery, Acquistions Editor for Prism Books. I met Paula at at Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers' Conference last May (2015) and pitched my romantic suspense novel, Summer of Deception, to  her. We soon signed a contract and have a 2017 release date. Thought you might like to get to know Paula through this great interview by Danele. --Elva Martin

Paula Mowery #2–Author Interview

ON MAY 2, 2016 BY DANELE ROTHARMELIN 4. INTERVIEWS14 COMMENTS

Dear Friends,

It’s my honor to welcome Paula Mowery back to my blog. Paula is such a terrific person. She is a pastor’s wife who interprets her husband’s sermons into sign language for the deaf. I talk with Paula often, and I have to say that she is one of the nicest, sweetest people that I know. I feel very blessed to call her a friend.

Danele: Paula, I’m so glad to have another chance to interview you!

Paula: Danele, thanks for hosting me again. You’ve become a dear friend and sister in Christ, even though we’ve never met in person. You are an inspiration, and it is an honor to visit with you and your readers.

Danele: Thank you! I feel the same about you, and I’m really looking forward to learning more about you! Can you tell us how being a Christian has influenced your writing?

Paula: My writing is a calling from God, thus being a Christian has greatly influenced my writing. I try to be sensitive to God’s leading in the messages and themes revealed in every story I write. Writing is considered a ministry to me. Ultimately, I want all of my words to bring glory to God and at the same time to encourage the reader towards a better relationship with Christ.

Danele: That’s wonderful, Paula! Here’s another question for you—I’ve heard some people say that the Bible isn’t relevant for us today. Can you explain why you think it is important for Christians to read their Bibles?

Paula: The Bible is the living Word of God. That means it isn’t like any other book we might pick up. It speaks to us where we are today, at this very moment. I can give you a little experiment to test this. There is a Proverb chapter for every day of the month. Read the chapter that coincides with the day of the month. (On the 2nd of the month, read chapter 2.) Pray each day that the Lord will show you something from the reading. Somehow mark what stands out to you. Repeat the next month. Here is what this experiment revealed to me. When I returned the second month to read each chapter, a different verse stood out. Often I didn’t remember the verse being in the chapter. Many times the verse I had marked from the month before held little or no meaning now. What does this show? God’s Word is living. It speaks to us specifically every time we read it.

Danele: I love that answer! While we are discussing things, can you tell us why you think it is important for people to go to church?

Paula: Sweet brothers and sisters in Christ, you must follow God’s mandate to keep the Sabbath holy and not forsake the gathering of the saints. In a world as dark as ours, we need a place to gather with other “light-carriers.” We need those moments of fellowshipping with our fellow Christians and spurring each other on. We need the equipping found in Sunday school and discipleship. We need the worship time together as we sing and open God’s Word. Our church attendance also shows the priority we place on God. Let’s face it, our children are watching as well as our co-workers and friends. Your priorities are evidenced in how you spend your time. We need to recognize our church as a gift from God and treat it accordingly.

Danele: That’s so true! Church is such an important part of the Christian walk. Some of my favorite memories were made in church—and some of my funniest ones too. Is there a funny story from church that you can share?

Paula: My husband is a pastor, and I interpret his sermons for the deaf members of our church. I will never forget when he preached a sermon on fears. He proceeded to call out these long names of phobias and then move over next to my stool and say to the congregation, “Let’s see how the interpreter does with these words.”

Danele: Oh, Paula, you just made me giggle! I can just imagine you trying to sign a word like arachibutyrophobia (the fear of peanut butter getting stuck to the roof of your mouth) or hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia (the fear of long words).

Paula: It wasn’t the last time he has done something to me like that in the middle of his sermon. The congregation sure gets a kick out of him ribbing me like that.

Danele: I can imagine so!! That’s so funny!! I love to laugh, and I love to smile, but I know that life sometimes has a sad side too. Has God ever delivered you from a time of great sadness?

Paula: When my husband was in his last couple of years of seminary, we decided to start trying to have a baby. We both loved children and had worked with them in various capacities in ministry and secularly. Nothing was happening. Some tests later, my doctor informed me that I had Polycystic Ovarian Disease. She also told me that it would be more difficult for me to conceive but not impossible. Let’s just say I went through a lot of bitterness and depression while trying to have a baby. I had very strong feelings of dislike for those women who accidently ended up pregnant. Through infertility medication, I finally conceived and brought my only daughter into the world. Fast forward to just a couple of years ago. God nudged me to become the devotional leader at our pregnancy center. I questioned God on this one, “Do You remember my feelings? I’m not so sure they aren’t still there.” Well, needless to say, I took on the job. I learned that my feelings toward these women and girls were wrong. They each had a story. And my job was to show them the unconditional love of Christ. This is some of what inspired The Crux of Honor.

Danele: That’s beautiful, Paula. I love how God can turn our hardest trials into points of ministry. Is there anything else that God is speaking to your heart that you would like to share?

Paula: One theme in The Crux of Honor that I hope readers will discover is the unconditional love of God. Some people today have a hard time believing in this kind of love from God because those closest to them have not shown them this love. When a person has a parent who doesn’t display this kind of unconditional love to him or her, that person might doubt that God could love them in this way. In The Crux of Honor the main character struggles with this as well as feeling that there is no way she deserves God’s forgiveness. The very person (her mother) she needed to model these characteristics fails her. I want people to know that God is a God of forgiveness and unconditional love. You can trust Him even when others fail to model His traits. Humans fail but God never does and never will.

Danele: I’m so glad that you brought up your new book. I know it was released just a few days ago, and I’d love for you to tell us more about it. Can you share the back cover blurb and a purchasing link?

Paula: Sure! Chelsea Wilson’s life is a constant reminder of what living dishonorably looks like. At every turn she continues to prove her mother’s shunning must be deserved. Dr. Kevin Alley returns to the old home place to establish his medical practice. After running into Chelsea, he knows his love for her is still strong. Chelsea is ousted from her small rented room when her mother bursts in, proclaiming Chelsea’s pregnancy. Kevin takes Chelsea in, giving her space to live on the upper level of his house. When Chelsea’s baby displays life-threatening symptoms, Chelsea must face her mother. Secrets unfold about Chelsea’s parents. Can Chelsea and Kevin uncover the secrets linked to Amish heritage in time to save the baby? Can the two find love together despite their history? Here’s the Amazon link:http://www.amazon.com/Crux-Honor-Paula-Mowery-ebook/dp/B01BW1MAEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1461712289&sr=8-1&keywords=crux+of+honor

Danele: Before I let you go, can you give us a list of all the books you’ve written?

Paula: The Blessing Seer, Be The Blessing, Forgiven in the Brave New Century anthology, Legacy and Love, Love Again, For Our Good, and The Crux of Honor.

Danele: Paula, thank you so much for taking the time to talk with us! It has been such a pleasure speaking with you again.

Paula: Thank you so much for allowing me to share with you and your readers.

 Friends, Paula is a delightful person. She is incredibly kind and warmhearted. If you would like to learn more about her or her books, please follow the link below. I hope you have a wonderful day!

www.paulamowery.blogspot.com 

                                                  *****

Thank you, Danele and Paula, for this inspiring interview. I am happy to give my blog visitors a link to Danele's blog here. 

https://dragonflydanele.wordpress.com/author/danelerotharmel/

Please leave a comment if you enjoyed getting to know Paula Mowery and we would love for you to share this blog on your social media!

Be blessed,

Elva Cobb Martin

                                        

First Round of Edits

by Elva Cobb Martin

Recently I received the first round of edits for my contracted book, Summer of Deception. Have you ever wondered what a professional editor's first round might look like? Here're the beginning pages with editing marks showing overused words and phrases I needed to change or reword.

Chapter One
Charleston, South Carolina

Barrett Hall arose in the stormy night emblazoned in the taxi headlights. Rachel York’s breath caught in her throat. She shook away lightheadedness and weariness as the taxi crunched the rest of its way up the tree-lined shell drive.

On the wide porch she propped her umbrella beside her suitcase and tried to ignore the shivers of disquiet travelling up her spine. She would find the truth. This new summer job in Charleston was the first step.

The rain pounded pounding against the slate roof then stopped as quickly as it had begun. The moon angled out from behind a cloud, and Rachel glanced around the plantation’s wide portico with its six imposing columns and rocking chairs bathed in shadows. The brass horse- head knocker adorning the entrance added to its aura.

She held her wristwatch to the moonlight and grimaced. Ten o’clock. Five hours late. She’d arrived. With no cell phone connection, she had not been able to telephone. How early did the elderly Mr. Barrett retire? Had he given up on her? Thought she’d changed her mind about his job offer? No way. Never had she dreamed such an opportunity would fall into her lap.

Rachel took a deep breath. The smell of sweet gardenias calmed her. Swinging her thick hair behind her shoulders, she lifted the knocker and let it go. The sound broke the quietness like a pistol shot.

A sharp bark from behind startled Rachel’s already antsy nerves. She whirled around. A gray German shepherd the size of a calf stood on the steps staring at her. She gasped as she reached for her umbrella and pointed it at the beast as if it were a sword.

“Gabriel, what are you barking at?” A tall man stepped into view from a path beside the house, shaking rain from his cowboy hat. The moonlight revealed his strong build and tanned good looks. He wore an eye patch and an olive green T-shirt etched with the word, Marines.

He looked up and saw Rachel. “Come Gabriel,” he commanded the dog. The animal obeyed and he snapped a leash on its collar. “Sorry if this big mutt frightened you. He’s not ferocious, but we don’t broadcast that fact. And the umbrella wouldn’t have done an iota of good if he had a mind to attack—which he hasn’t.” The man chuckled, a pleasant sound in the shadows.

Was he a farmhand or some kind of security guard patrolling the grounds? Rachel breathed easier and lowered her umbrella. She was about to speak when the porch flooded with light and the door opened. Rachel turned.

A gray-headed woman in a wilted apron stood in the partial opening. She glared at Rachel with narrowed blue eyes. They widened when they fell on the luggage.

“I’m Rachel York. Mr. Barrett’s expecting me. Sorry I’m so late.”    

“Mr. Barrett, eh? He didn't tell me he was ‘specting nobody, ’specially for overnight.” She frowned and pursed her lips. “And I'm the housekeeper. What did you say your name was?”

“Rachel York.” Not expecting her? And definitely not for overnight, but for the whole summer.

The woman opened the door wider and her eyes fell on the man in the shadows. “Oh, there you are.”

Rachel glanced back at the man and dog.

He spoke to the housekeeper. “Mrs. Busby, show our guest to the game room in about five minutes.”

“Yes, sir.”

Obviously not a farmhand. Or a guard. Rachel pulled her luggage into an elegant entrance hall lit by a grand chandelier. A delightful fragrance wafted up from roses on a side table. She propped her Pullman upright and dropped her carry-on beside it. Glancing around, she tilted her chin and smiled. What a lovely, historic place to work this summer.

And who was the striking man who had been walking in the rain?

The housekeeper disappeared, then [SB1] returned and gestured for Rachel to follow. They turned past a curving staircase and stepped down into an enclosed patio dotted with plants amid white wicker furniture. Rachel’s metal-capped heels clicked across polished brick.

What Rachel saw of the house appeared to be exactly the kind she expected an elderly southern plantation owner like Mr. Barrett to have. Dean Woods had described it perfectly as a Gone with the Wind setting. Her future employer had smiled and nodded.

The woman gave a brief knock at a door and opened it. She motioned for Rachel to enter and stepped in beside her.

Rachel inhaled the delightful woodsy scent of cedar chips and turned at the sound of a voice, the same masculine one she’d heard earlier.

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Note from [SB1]What did Rachel do or think as she stood there in the entryway waiting? Did her pulse race (due to anxiety?) or did she give a sigh of relief she had at least made it inside?

Next week I'll share the "rewrite" I did of these pages. The editor gave me one month to complete all edits of my 209 pages. At first it took me a day to do three pages. But I soon got the hang of it and was able to do 15-20 pages a day, a better goal for having it finished on time.

What have you learned from this editing sample?  Please leave a comment or suggested changes you'd make to these pages.

Elva Martin