Show Don't Tell Descriptions - Part 1

by Elva Cobb Martin

As authors we have to keep sharpening our show don't tell skills. When I read, I take notes on examples of good descriptions that show us rather than tell us. This helps us master the technique. 

See if the sentences/phrases below help inspire you. They are my descriptive notes from a novel of a New York Times bestselling mystery author. This is one of the reasons she's enjoyed by so many readers! Can you SEE what she is describing?

The air was hot and heavy, as if it had already been breathed, and tasted faintly stale. (at a grave yard during funeral)

She looked tired and rumpled.

His voice lifted as he warmed to the subject.

He loved inflicting pain, that she knew as surely as any animal knows its predator by sight and smell.

She forced a smile and feared it might be more like bared teeth.

A look of venom hardened her face before she mastered it and ironed it out.

Charlotte knew exactly when the woman caught sight of Jacob. Her face changed. The full lower lip came forward, and the skin tightened across her cheeks.

Her voice, when it came, was as brittle as splintered glass.

Do these examples inspire you? With slight changes we may be able to use these great examples of show/don't tell descriptions.
And also come up with new ones.

Here are some descriptions of mine:

From Summer of Deception after the hero Luke Barrett has come back to God and had his faith restored. This is how I described what he felt later.

"As Luke walked across the lawn, the grass appeared greener, the flowers of the garden path more brilliant. A harmony filled his inner being, and he started to whistle."


http://amzn.to/2pOgVHI

Here's part of a scene from In a Pirate's Debt as the hero, Captain Bloodstone, (ancestor of Luke Barrett above) wrestles with the enemy in his dungeon cell on the eve of his proposed execution.

"Fury singed his mind and body. If he could just get his hands around Roger Poole's neck. That murderous thought brought others and Lucas fell into a hellish, demonic wrestling that lasted hours...Finally, exhausted and weary with the visions and the damp darkness about him, Lucas fell to his knees and cried out to God for deliverance from his anger and his unforgiveness. The response came swiftly, peacefully, like a gentle hand on his head. He looked up and saw a thin ray of sunlight filter down from the small barred window announcing morning."


Thanks for stopping by. Can you give me some good descriptive phrases or sentences that inspire you to add to my file?  Please click on the small links below to share this blog.

Be blessed today is my prayer for you,
Elva

Elva Cobb Martin is vice-president of the South Carolina Chapter of American Christian Fiction Writers. She is a former school teacher and a graduate of Anderson University and Erskine College. She has two inspirational novels published with Lighthouse Publishers of the Carolinas. Summer of Deception, a contemporary romantic suspense, and an historical romance, In a Pirate’s Debt. Both have spent time on Amazon’s 100 Best Sellers List for Women’s Religious Fiction. She has indie published a Bible study on Amazon, Power Over Satan, on the  believer's authority in Christ. Decision, Charisma, and Home Life have carried Elva's articles. Jim Hart of Hartline Literary represents her. She and her husband Dwayne are semi-retired ministers. A mother and grandmother, Elva lives in South Carolina. Connect with her on her web site http://www.elvamartin.com,on Twitter www.twitter.com/ElvaCobbMartin; Facebook http://www.facebook.com/elvacobbmartin;  and Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/elvacobbmartin

 Link to her romance novels and non-fiction works on Amazon:http://amzn.to/2pOgVHI

Finding a Great Trailer Deal

by Elva Cobb Martin

When I was writing my first two novels I dreamed of being able to have a video trailer made for them both, but really thought hiring it done would be out of my price range. Well, things have changed!

I recently ran across a very reasonable trailer designer. Her name is Rachel Bostwick. I stuck my toe into trailers by hiring her to do her shortest trailer for the amazing price of $5 each.  Yep, I said $5.00. I had her do one for both books.  

Summer of Deception 

In a Pirate's Debt

















Here they both are on YouTube posted by my publisher.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL0TFKkC-YhLfOnnAzoR23A

If you want to check out this designer you can reach her through Fiverr at this link. 
               http://fiverr.com/rachelbostwick

It was so easy working with Rachel. She asked me to send her three free-to-use photos and three sentences for each book and she took it from there. I was so pleased with her work and timely communications.

I would love to know what you think of the trailers. Please do leave a comment and click on the small icons below to share on your social media.

Elva

Elva Cobb Martin is vice-president of the South Carolina Chapter of American Christian Fiction Writers. She is a former school teacher and a graduate of Anderson University and Erskine College. She has two inspirational novels contracted with Lighthouse Publishers of the Carolinas. Summer of Deception, a contemporary romantic suspense, and an historical romance, In a Pirate’s Debt. Both have spent time on Amazon’s 100 Best Sellers List for Women’s Religious Fiction. Decision, Charisma, and Home Life have carried Elva's articles. Jim Hart of Hartline Literary represents her. She and her husband Dwayne are semi-retired ministers. A mother and grandmother, Elva lives in Anderson, South Carolina. Connect with her on her web site http://www.elvamartin.com, her blog http://carolinaromancewithelvamartin.blogspot.com, on Twitter www.twitter.com/ElvaCobbMartin; Facebook http://www.facebook.com/elvacobbmartin;  and Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/elvacobbmartin

Link to her romance novels and non-fiction works on Amazon: http://amzn.to/2pOgVHI

Tips for Creating A Villain

by Elva Cobb Martin

Villains are important in most  genres, and I've studied quite a lot about how to write about these bad guys (or gals). 

A writer friend, Katherine McDermott, wrote:"In creating romantic suspense the "bad guy" is just as important, if not more important, than the hero and heroine. He must be a "real" person with legitimate motives and his own back story; otherwise, you end up writing a melodrama with stock characters like Dudley Do-right and Snidely Whiplash."

I created a powerful villain by the name of Byron Pitt in my novel, In a Pirate's Debt available at http://amzn.to/2i61Z5P . I gave him a terrible scar on his face that occurred in a sword fight with the hero captain. He was also jealous of the captain and wanted revenge for the scar. I gave him motive and opportunity to seek revenge, increasing the conflict in the story.

In my contemporary romantic suspense novel, Summer of Deception, available at  http://amzn.to/2f0y2SB I wrote in a mercenary, immoral, cowboy villain, Dakota, who had it in for the hero Luke, but I gave this bad guy a piece of a heart. He dropped his girlfriend when she refused to get an abortion, but he also sent money to her regularly and had an account set up to pay for the hospital and doctor for the baby's birth.

In my study I found a great description for a villain written in the Bible. Check out Proverbs 6:12-14, here in the Amplified Bible version. Do you see the body language described?

A worthless person, a wicked man, is he who goes about with a perverse (contrary, wayward) mouth. He winks with his eyes, he speaks by shuffling or tapping with his feet, he makes signs (to mislead and deceive) and teaches with his fingers. Willful and contrary in his heart, he devises trouble, vexation, and evil continually; he lets loose discord and sows it.

Do you have a tip for creating a good villain? Leave a comment.
Thanks for stopping by and please do share this on your social media by clicking on the small icons below.

Blessings,
Elva 

Elva Cobb Martin is president of the South Carolina Chapter of American Christian Fiction Writers (2014-2017). She is a former school teacher and a graduate of Anderson University and Erskine College. She has two inspirational novels contracted with Lighthouse Publishers of the Carolinas. Summer of Deception, a contemporary romantic suspense, and an historical romance, In a Pirate’s Debt. Both have spent time on Amazon’s 100 Best Sellers List for Women’s Religious Fiction. Decision, Charisma, and Home Life have carried Elva's articles. Jim Hart of Hartline Literary represents her. She and her husband Dwayne are semi-retired ministers. A mother and grandmother, Elva lives in Anderson, South Carolina. Connect with her on her web site http://www.elvamartin.com, her blog http://carolinaromancewithelvamartin.blogspot.com, on Twitter www.twitter.com/ElvaCobbMartin; Facebook http://www.facebook.com/elvacobbmartin;  and Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/elvacobbmartin

Link to my romance novels and non-fiction works on Amazon: http://amzn.to/2pOgVHI

Planning Your Novel Part 3 "Pitches and Book Tags"

by Elva Cobb Martin

In Part 2 we talked about "Premise" and how it will actually help you write your pitch. Never mind pulling your hair out. You can access Parts 1-2 in my archives.

So what is a pitch (or log line) and how does it differ from a book tag?

A pitch is a one or two sentence nutshell that explains what your book is about. 

Imagine someone asking you, "What is your book about?" (Some one like an editor or agent that you may run into at a conference and you only have a few moments to tell them about your book). 

Here are some examples of pitches:

1) Jacob Marshall must avenge his father's honor by implicating Serena Jones' father, only to realize revenge often hurts the innocent.

2) Rachel York determines to unearth the truth about her brother's reported death by taking a position at an historic tea plantation, only to realize the truth may destroy her new found love and could even cost her life.  (This was my pitch for Summer of Deception which helped snag a contract and can be found at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B071L28PHH )

Want to try your hand at a pitch?  Here's a simple template that has helped me:

(Your protagonist) _________MUST __________(critical plot goal) BY ______________(action or conflict)  
ONLY TO REALIZE __________________(what the character learns about life that helps him change his goal during journey of book

Tags are a briefer hook, like back cover copy first line or byline in a movie. You'll need this for your book cover and tweets.

To boldly go where no man has gone. (Star Wars)
Don't go in the water (Jaws)
Collide with destiny (Titanic)
Power comes with a price (The List by Robert Whitlow)
Can love survive a summer of deception? (for my novel Summer of Deception)
Falling in love with a pirate was never part of her plan. (for my novel, In a Pirate's Debt).

My Premise for my current wip helped me write my Pitch. Of course, it's an inspirational romance.

To recap, my tweaked premise for my wip is: Love, forgiveness, and determination can overcome the most horrifying experiences and poor choices when God is invited into the equation.

Here's a rough draft of my pitch:

"Marisol Valentine flees after murdering the Spanish nobleman who sexually assaulted her only to find herself caught in a net of kidnappers for the King's colonization of the New World which threatens to derail her forever from love, security and decency until she discovers a God who can work good even from evil."

How's that for a long sentence? But it gets the job done--for now. ( :

Thanks for stopping by. Please do leave a comment and a sample pitch, if you have one. And share this blog if it has been helpful.

Blessings,
Elva Cobb Martin

Planning Your Novel - Part 1

by Elva Cobb Martin

Are you planning your first novel or trying to get started with your next one? I give God the glory for two novels recently released by Lighthouse Publishers of the Carolinas, Summer of Deception and In a Pirate's Debt. You can check them out on Amazon at this link: http://amzn.to/2pOgVHI. 

This summer I am researching and planning my next novel which will become a series, I hope. Here are the steps that have helped me in the past and, I believe, will assist me again.

1) Read, Read in Your Genre --and Time Period if Historical.
I find it very important to immerse myself in the genre I'm hoping to write. In your genre, find the best, most successful authors you can and read and study what makes their novel interesting to read. I often take notes and write in the margins!

If writing an historical, find books in your time period. Since I'm planning an historical series set in the 1700's like my pirate novel above, I am reading novels of established authors set in this century. It's amazing how many great ideas come to me as I soak up stories set in my chosen time period and place. Reading a contemporary novel,or one set in the Regency Period, or during World War II won't help keep me on target, so I save those novels for another time. I also look for movies set in my time period and save them in my TV groups. I take notes on setting, dialog, dress, conflict, historical tidbits, etc. 

4) Jot Down Your Initial Storyline
My basic story idea is of a heroine, an indentured servant, who has a bad past she's carrying like baggage, even after she becomes a Christian. (See the "lie" she believes and the spiritual plot possibility of her overcoming?) After a terrible incident in Spain she fled for her life to the New World as an indentured servant. She falls in love with her master after he becomes widowed, but she feels like soiled goods he will never be interested in. She desires to find respect, security and love and will go to some lengths to find them. (See the motivation and goals unfolding?) And, of course, I will give the widowed hero problems, conflicts, and goals to complicate the romance possibility we will pursue from Charles Town to the Spanish Main. Of course, some of these details will likely change as I write the story! (More on characterization, lies, motivation, and goals in Part 2.)

3) Research and Research Some More
Having the Internet has made research so much easier. Seldom do I have to make a trip to the library for research. This novel will have a heroine who is an indentured servant. Yesterday I googled "Indentured Servants in America" and came up with great information. I printed some articles and saved some to my computer. I already know this story will be set mainly on the Spanish Main in Cartagena so I googled that and came up with some great articles and maps.

How do you plan a new novel? I would love to hear your comments. Next time I will share Part 2 that works for me.

Blessings,
Elva Martin

Tips for Writing a Prequel --to Summer of Deception

by Elva Cobb Martin

If you've read or plan to read Summer of Deception, my contemporary romantic suspense novel, you may be happy to know I've written a prequel.

The prequel to Summer is In a Pirate's Debt which Lighthouse Publishers of the Carolinas released May 30. Both novels, currently on sale, can be found on this Amazon link: http://amzn.to/2pOgVHI

 According to Wikipedia, "a prequel is a literary, dramatic, or filmic work whose story precedes that of the previous work." A sequel, on the other hand, continues the current story with some type of connection to the original story, whether it be with a character, a setting, or subject matter.

Goodreads lists 76 novels that are prequels. Star wars also has a popular prequel series.

After I wrote Summer of Deception, I sketched two sequels to follow, but at the time I was reading some great pirate era novels and they caught my fancy. So I decided to go back into the 1700's and write a story about Luke Barrett's ancestor who first built Barrett Hall. I decided to make him a pirate who had taken the King's pardon and used his wealth to settle down and start plantation life. This is actually what some pirates did.

Here are tips that helped me write a prequel:

1) Place a Teaser for the Prequel (or sequel) in the Current Novel
I decided to hint at the book to come by placing a full-sized portrait of Luke Barrett's pirate ancestor, Captain Lucas Bloodstone Barrett, in the attic in Summer of Deception. And, of course, Rachel finds the portrait and Luke also dresses up like the pirate for the costume ball at the Pennington's Plantation.

2) Keep Inspired by Obtaining Pictures of Main Characters
I practice Yvonne Lehman's story boarding technique of finding pictures of main characters to inspire my writing.  Here are pictures I've used for my heroes/heroines in these two books. Believe me, they kept me inspired.

Luke Barrett, (George Clooney) my hardworking plantation owner, hero, in Summer of Deception)

Rachel York, my feisty heroine in Summer of Deception. (I don't know her real name). ( :

Travay Allston, heroine indebted to hero  In a Pirate's Debt. (I don't know her real name either)

Captain Lucas Bloodstone Barrett, my mighty rescuer/hero of In a Pirate's Debt. (Gerard Butler in  the movie, Attila) This is actually the picture that confirmed to me I'd write my first pirate novel. I viewed the movie, and it is not a pirate movie, but hero Gerard as Attila captured my imagination.

3) Do careful research --and be ready for surprises

I made several trips down to Boone Hall Plantation in Charleston while writing both these novels. That's the plantation I used for my setting and renamed it Barrett Hall. After I decided to do the prequel, I told the historical staff person at Boone Hall what I was doing and that I had made the original owner of Boone/Barrett Hall, a pirate who took the King's pardon.

You can imagine my shock when her eyes widened and she said, "The original owner was a pirate!"

So la de da! We found the right historical track.

Have you written a prequel or are you thinking about doing one? Please leave a comment and share this on your social media if you found it interesting.

Click to tweet: http://ctt.ec/c9G4a


Blessings,

Elva Cobb Martin

In a Pirate's Debt Pre-Order Great Prices

by Elva Cobb Martin

Howdy friends,
Check out the great pre-order price for my latest romance novel being released May 30 by Lighthouse Publishers of the Carolinas.

If you prefer print, you'll love the pre-order price of $7.95! You can also get the pre-order price of $0.00 for the Kindle!

Click here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XXCYXPY/

In a Pirate's Debt - Falling in love with a pirate was never part of her plan ... (Love on the High Seas) 

New Cover Reveal -In a Pirate's Debt (Historical Romance)

by Elva Cobb Martin

DRUM ROLL-L-L!

In a Pirate's Debt, is slated for release May 25. How do you like this draft of the cover Lighthouse Publishers of the Carolinas sent to me?

Below is the full cover, including the back cover copy (BCC) the publishing team and I revised and revised to get every word just right! I've reproduced it below since I cannot enlarge the photo.

Back Cover Copy for In a Pirate's Debt

 When confronted with a forced marriage, Travay Allston flees her stepfather’s Jamaica plantation and dives into the sea. Death would be preferable to life with Sir Roger Poole, a drinking, gambling, scoundrel whose advances make her skin crawl.

Lucas Barrett sails the high seas as the dreaded Captain Bloodstone. He is on a quest to find his mother, a woman last seen clapped in irons by the Spanish. As his ship slips past Jamaica, he spies a young woman plunge into the sea. A prize of such beauty must be saved and Lucas dives in to rescue her. The last thing Lucas needs is to get involved with Travay, a childhood friend who caused him nothing but trouble. Especially now that she’s become a stubborn, alluring young woman. 

Lucas delivers Travay to her aunt in Charles Town and washes his hands of the affair. Or so he thinks. But when Sir Roger shows up demanding that Travay marry him or face the wrath of Charles Town’s newest council member,  Lucas feels that familiar boyhood tug on his heart. Will this wanted pirate of the crown, risk his life to save Travay a second time? Betrothed to a man she hates, will Travay repay her debt to a pirate by marrying Sir Roger in exchange for his promise to pardon Lucas? And if she does, will such a rascal keep his word? Falling in love with the pirate was never part of her plan. 

Does this BCC stir your interest to read the book? Please do share your comments. I'd love to hear from you. If you would be interested in receiving a free ebook file of this book to read and post a review on Amazon on May 25, please let me know in the comments.

http://ctt.ec/VsbUk  Click to share on Twitter

Blessings,

Elva Martin

Elva Cobb Martin is a former school teacher and a graduate of Anderson University and Erskine College. Several magazines have published her articles. She has completed two romance novels, Summer of Deception and In a Pirate’s Debt.  Elva is represented by Jim Hart of Hartline Literary. A mother and grandmother, Elva lives with her husband Dwayne and a mini-dachshund writing helper, Lucy, in Anderson, South Carolina.  She would love for  you to connect with her on her web site www.elvamartin.com, her blog http://carolinaromancewithelvamartin.blogspot.com on Twitter www.twitter.com/Elvacobbmartin, Facebook http://www.facebook.com/elvacobbmartin, and Pinteresthttps://www.pinterest.com/elvacobbmartin/

Lessons Learned at a Book Signing

by Elva Cobb Martin

Recently we were invited to participate in a book signing at our local YMCA. My first two romance novels won't be released until March and May of 2017. However, I did have a non-fiction mini-book I indie published on Amazon, Power Over Satan, a primer on our authority in Christ. So-o-o I was happy to accept this invitation for my first real book signing. Here's the link to the book:
buff.ly/1NUkfYD

A dear friend, Edie Melson, also accepted the invitation, and I was blessed to share a table with her.  She arrived before I did and set up our table close to the refreshment table the YMCA provided for the event. I told her that had to be a smart idea. 
( :

I learned several neat things from Edie who has done multiple book signings. She came with a big chart of her book cover of While My Child is Away, which is a wonderful book of prayers and devotions for parents. She also had a neat freebie, her own designed book mark on a chain with a bird charm on one end and a tag on the other that included the title of her book on one side and her social media info on the other side. She brought book holder/picture frames to stand her books up and she loaned some to me.

I ordered a 11x17 chart of my front and back cover from VistaPrint.com. I folded this just like it was a book cover and wrote $5.00 in the corner so everyone could easily see my price. I stood this up on a book frame.

To advertise my coming novels, my prep included making an 8-1/2 x 11 advertising sheet on card stock of my two novels coming out, Summer of Deception (March, 2017, Prism Book Group) and In a Pirate's Debt (May, 2017 Lighthouse Publishers of the Carolinas). I included titles, release date, and a photo from my file on each book. This also went on a book frame.

 I brought a small basket lined with colorful gemstones (collected with my gemstone-happy grandson) to stash my business cards in. My books were being sold for $5 so I also brought some change in a bank bag. (At the time I had a Square on order to take credit cards, but it had not arrived.)

So there Edie and I were, all ready to sell our books. We took some pictures, we smiled, we chatted with passersby and we waited. Two hours. 

Lots of folks walked right by our table on their way to the refreshment table. A very few stopped, glanced at our books and most said something like:

"Oh, these are nice but, sorry, I didn't bring my pocketbook into the gym."  (HOW could we forget that most people don't??)

One dear lady told me, "I really need your book. I'm going to the car and get my $5.00."

God bless that dear one! I finally did sell three books.

What I Learned from My Book Signing Experience:

•  Gyms are NOT a good place to sell books.                      
• Books priced over $10 will most likely not sell well these days. One author had a book for sale at $29. 

•  It's good to have a freebie to give away. OrientalTrading.com is a good place to buy trinkets that might go along with your book. Edie got her bird charms there. I can't wait to look for small ships or pirate stuff for In a Pirate's Debt. I will have tea bag freebies for Summer of Deception which is set on a Charleston Tea Plantation. And I will have an antique tea pot or cup on the table!          
•  Even with low sales, I felt I made some good contacts.                                                                            
• I enjoyed fellowship with other authors.

Thanks  for stopping by. Have you suggestions or insights for a book signing?  I  have another coming up in December. . .

Onward!
Elva Martin

Before You Hit the Send Button to an Editor

by Elva Cobb Martin @elvacobbmartin 

At the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers' Conference in May I received a request for a full manuscript after pitching my inspirational historical romance, In a Pirate's Debt, to an editor.

I am so glad I had the forethought to tell her that I'd have it to her by June 5 instead of immediately. I wanted to troll back through it ONE more time. Actually, I've just gone through it two more times. I feel like I've backstroked across the Caribbean!

Here are some things I looked at carefully, besides misspelled words, grammar and punctuation:

1) The first and last pages - for hook and HEA ending with hint of Book 2

2) Deep POV: I didn't want to use she "heard, thought         wondered, felt" (Just  give the thing heard, thought, felt)
      Ex. She heard the boy call him Captain.
            The boy called him Captain.
      Ex. She wondered who he really was.
            Who was Captain Lucas Bloodstone Barrett?

3) Ellipses: space-dot-space-dot-space-dot-space (four spaces,         3 dots) And do not use many ellipses!
       "But . . . Arundel!"
       "Are you hurt? Did he . . .?" 

4) Keep all dialog, action, action beats, thoughts of each character in the same paragraph unless interrupted by other speaker.

5) Avoid ing verb forms and over use of prepositional phrases.
    Ex. He must pursue his goal of finding out about his mother.
     He must pursue his goal. He would find out what happened.

6) Use contractions in dialog and thoughts to make them flow.

7) Watch for POV slips.

8) Watch for telling!

9) NOTE: To use Find and Replace to change the spelling of a name throughout the ms, be sure to put a space before and after both words in the Find slot and the Replace slot. Otherwise, words with the same letters will be skewed up. Example: I had to change Captain Ned Lowe to "Low." I did not put the spaces in and all the words in my ms with "low" in them (slowed, followed) got messed up.Whew. ( :

10) Last, I did an msword spelling and grammar check and it caught some things I had missed in spite of everything. ( :

Finally, I hit the send button and knew how baby Moses' mother felt when she sent him off in that basket.

Do you have some other items you always check when editing your novel?  Please leave a comment.

Thanks for stopping by.

Elva Cobb Martin